Struggling with family issues

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Struggling with family issues

May 17, 2012 by faithallen

Not sure when I will blog next. Maybe next week…

6 Responses

on May 17, 2012 at 8:32 am | Reply victimsurvivorthriver

Take care Faith.
on May 17, 2012 at 12:08 pm | Reply Alice

thinking of you x
on May 17, 2012 at 4:46 pm | Reply malanie

Faith hoping all is safe and will be alright with you and yours. I will keep you in my prayers. You and all you share and give to others of yourself is beyond invaluable. We love you. We love this site. Thankyou always. Malanie
on May 17, 2012 at 10:26 pm | Reply JMCD

Faith, Trust yourself, you will find the answers and the way through it, just like a wave. Sideways, running away and holding back works for awhile, makes you tired, then the big one comes. Your healing has helped you recognize your inner strength, look at it straight on and go straight through it.
I hope you realize how helpful and important your blog is to me.
on May 18, 2012 at 8:31 am | Reply Vicki

Me too! I feel like you are one of my Life Masters. We are not alone thanks to YOU! ❤
on May 18, 2012 at 9:12 am | Reply Vicki

I’m sorry I don’t meant to be frustrating~

On the other hand the enemas were not the only thing my mother did to me, so other issues have been coming up since I have been addressing this. I think what was motivating her at least in the beginning was wanting to be a perfect mother in example to her sisters, who were actually raising her from twelve after their mother died. They all had lots of kids and my mother had me. She wanted me to be perfect invery way. She was on top of everything thing. Micro managed me till I was pulling and twisting my hair, biting my nails till they bleed, had hives cried (weeped silently) ingesteded my own vomit, so It wouldn’t get on her floors on they way to the bathroom…etc. My only escape was my art. I was free to express myself there if no where else.
So when I saw this interview with this winner of the Crayola Coloring Contest and saw how rigidly controlled the picture was and how it took THOUSANDS of trys!!! I KNEW it did!!! I cried for that little boy! I wrote this to Matt this morning.VVVVV
“OMG Matt! I just saw this interview with the little boy that WON the coloring contest. What hit me hardest was that it took THOUSANDS of trys, I mean if that was even embellished~ This mother used his creativity to torture him by micro-managing this poor child to this extent. THIS IS ABUSE and the idea that he WON only reinforces in her mind that what she was doing was good. My mother was like this in every area BUT my art. This woman is using IT against him. I would investigate her lack of boundaries in other areas of her child’s life, because we have clear “cause” here.”

~ when I was 4 I lived in an upstairs one bedroom, shared bathroom, apartment with my mom and daddy. It was in the kitchen of this apartment that my mother decided to teach me how swallow a pill. She reasoned with me that she knew a child that was 3 and could swallow a pill, so we had this CASE of vitamins (meant to sell for the church) that were candy coated and I was going to practice swallowing a pill until I got it. AT $ I knew THIS was wrong! I don’t know how long this went on; I know she didn’t open more than the one bottle, but there were THOUSANDS! of trys. The same pill over and over till it was so nasty and grainy and gagging and begging for a new pill just so I didn’t have to taste vitamin taste trying more. GD her I am 56 years old and still can’t swallow a vitamin ~

When momma is this intense …well she just is. So I ask as a professional in this area will you please look at this case? It was Friday morning’s TODAY Show
Love and Light TY