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Archive for May 29th, 2012

Yesterday, I shared the two main reasons that I have been feeling “off.”  Sadly, there is still more.

This year, I have been part of a team for a project that I care about very much, and the team has members with very different views on some topics. While the whole point of having a team (versus just doing it yourself) is seeing the same issue from different perspectives, the process of trying to reach consensus can be draining. Also, because I (and most of the other teammates) care so deeply, the process has been emotionally draining at times.

I did not knowing going in that I was taking on a project that would go on for months. I naively believed this would be a three-week commitment. (In fairness, I don’t think anyone else on the team realized this either.) This has now stretched into months with no end in sight. I am committed to the cause, as is everyone else on the team. It’s just not the best timing for me to be taking on a new and sometimes time-consuming project when I am dealing with health issues and hub being at home. I do think with my health issues turning around and hub returning to work next week, the time pressures will ease.

Then there is the lack of connectedness with my girlfriends. I am not saying it is any of their faults, and in fact, one is persistently making the effort to get us together, and that has been a lifeline in recent weeks. With hub home and cutting into my work time, I have had less time to nurture myself through time with my girlfriends since I am having to use time that I would have spent with my girlfriends to keep up with my work schedule. My book club has been near impossible to pin down to meet, so I guess that is on hiatus until the fall. My Bible study ended for the summer, and I chose not to commit to a summer one since my time has been so limited lately. For one reason or another, I keep having to miss Sunday School.

The net result is that I am feeling cut off from all that energizes me – my blogging, my readers, my girlfriends – and working double duty with family interactions. Don’t get me wrong – I love my family, but interactions with them are mostly one-way with me doing the giving. At some point, I need to fill my own cup to have something left to give, and I have been running on empty. I am hoping some of this will turn around once hub returns to work, and I can return to my own schedule (just in time for school to let out, of course).

This is life, and I will get through it. It’s just hard, and I really miss my readers!

Photo credit: Hekatekris

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