Archive for the ‘Other Types of Abuse’ Category

Building on what I was discussing in my last blog entry, sometimes a person experiences trauma even when the one causing the trauma did not intend trauma. I see this dynamic in some of the comments posted to my blog entry entitled Enemas, Tubes, and Object Insertion as Part of Child Abuse. While the perpetrators of this form of abuse are sometimes clearly using enemas, etc., with the intention of traumatizing the child, some readers wrestle with whether or not their parents (or other adults) intended the enemas as abuse or if they truly did not realize they were traumatizing the child.

My therapist advises me to stay out of my abusers’ heads, but I am going to disregard this advice for the purpose of this blog entry because I think this is worth discussing. You can have two children who suffered trauma from being given enemas repeatedly. In one case, the abuser fully intended the enemas as part of torturing the child. In the other case, the mother/father/perpetrator was misguided in believing that giving the child repeated enemas was good for the child or at least never intended trauma. Despite the intent of the one administering the trauma, the child grows into an adult who wrestles with the aftereffects of trauma (which is why my therapist advises me to stay out of my abusers’ heads – their intention doesn’t change my experience).

I fear we might have another generation of children growing up experiencing trauma at the hands of parents who might not intend to inflict trauma. This is in the form of giving their daughters virgin waxes and botox treatments – I am talking about children as young as eight years old! Neither waxing nor botox is a comfortable experience, and I cannot fathom why an eight-year-old child could possible need either. (It sounds like this is more common in the kiddie pageant circuit – Don’t even get me started on that topic.)

My guess is that most of the parents administering these treatments to their children are not intending abuse (although I am sure there are some who are). Nevertheless, from the perspective of the child, how different is this from unnecessary enemas and tubes? How many of these children will be posting comments on my blog in 10 years about struggling with the aftereffects of trauma?

What are your thoughts on virgin waxes and botox for children? Are these treatments abusive? Do you think that these treatments are traumatizing to an eight-year-old little girl?

Photo credit: Hekatekris

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A reader contacted me about a form of child abuse that I have not directly addressed on my blog (although I have mentioned it in passing a couple of times). This type of child abuse involved unnecessary enemas, tubes, and object insertion as part of the abuse.

This form of abuse is covered in the movie Sybil. Sybil’s mother would give her an unnecessary enema. She would then tie her up by the piano, play the piano, and threaten Sybil if she wet her pants. Of course, Sybil’s bladder would give out, which would set off the next round of abuse. I know a man who suffered similar abuse by his female babysitter. She would give him unnecessary enemas and then take him out in public without allowing him to use a bathroom. Of course, he would wet himself and be humiliated.

I joined a message board called Making Daughters Safe Again, which is specifically for survivors of mother-daughter sexual abuse. I was blown away by how many mothers gave their daughters unnecessary enemas! I even questioned whether there was something weird about my own mother-daughter sexual abuse experience because she didn’t give me unnecessary enemas. That is how common this form of abuse was in that circle of child abuse survivors.

Tubes are used to force a child to ingest a harmful (or simply gross) substance. It is the same idea as the enema, only the tube is going down the throat.

My sister and I were subjected to object insertion. S, my most sadistic abuser, would force us to play “doggie.” I was the male dog, and my baby sister was the female dog. S forced me to insert objects into my sister as part of the “game,” which was absolutely nauseating to me.

Object insertion involves inserting any object (hair brush, enema, curling iron, etc.) into any orifice in a child. What is especially confusing to the child is the why? The child is getting no pleasure out of the object insertion, so what is the point of the activity? It is about sadistic abuse and about breaking the child’s will and dignity.

If you have endured any of these forms of abuse, you are not alone. I generally hear about them in two types of settings – sexual abuse by women and as a part of ritual abuse. I am not saying that no man has ever used these tactics – I am sure many have. However, it does seem to be a more common practice by a female abuser than by a male one. Perhaps the reason that enemas, tubes, and object insertion are talked about less is because they are more frequently done by women, and talking about female abusers is harder for a lot of child abuse survivors than talking about abuse by men.

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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