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Posts Tagged ‘abuser trying to force reconciliation’

I am posting this message in real time. This just happened … my mother/abuser just called my house!!!!!

I have been focusing on breathing for the last hour. I called my therapist and am waiting to hear back from him. I also called a friend, who was great at reminding me to breathe. Seriously, I keep feeling lightheaded because I keep forgetting to breathe.

Let me back up…Mother/abuser’s birthday was last week, and I did not send her a card or present. She is in “Christian counseling” as part of becoming a Christian counselor herself. [Deep shudder] I suspect that this counselor is the one pushing her to disregard all of the boundaries that I have had in place for over five years – don’t call or visit; only write once a month; do not discuss the past or reconciliation.

Seriously – If a woman’s adult child has not wanted contact in over five years, why would this counselor think that badgering me is going to result in a reconciliation? Oh, that’s right … She’s not an educated psychotherapist.

So, my mother/abuser sent me a card on Monday. It was very short, and I dissociated away most of it. (My friend took the card so I would not get triggered by it again.) It said something along the lines of, “It has been a long time. I want a reconciliation. I will do whatever it takes.”

And then now, only two days later, she is calling my house!?!! I haven’t even had time to respond by mail yet!!

Again, I dissociated the message, but it was definitely her voice and something along the lines of, “You should have received my card by now. I want a reconciliation. Please call me…” I turned it off before it finished. My friend is going to listen to the message and tell me if there is anything that I need to know from it. Then, I am going to delete it.

I am not sure what to do other than remind myself that I am not a little girl any longer. She cannot force me to reconcile with her. If she shows up on my doorstep, I will call the cops. If hub is home, he will take care of it. Fortunately, I am going out of town this weekend. If she shows up then, hub will make sure she never comes back. She lives 6 hours away by car, and I would not have thought that she would just show up. However, after this barrage of contact and running over all of my boundaries, nothing would surprise me.

Don’t worry about me. I am going to be okay. I am going to pick up my son from school and then go to my friend’s house. She will keep me calm (or as calm as I can be). In the meantime, I am going to keep reminding myself to breathe.

Please send your thoughts, prayers, and positive energy my way today.

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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