Posts Tagged ‘holiday cards’

Yesterday was a good day. My kid woke me up at 3:30 a.m. with a nightmare (that part wasn’t good). I couldn’t sleep, so I knocked out a lot of my work in the wee hours of the morning. I was so tired that I laid down that afternoon and woke up two hours later. My son and I then went out to dinner, just the two of us, and had a great time. We played a couple of board games after dinner. It’s been a while since I have truly enjoyed myself like that.

In the middle of all of this, I received a card from momster. I was annoyed because I was finally beginning to notice that things weren’t as difficult yesterday. I was hopeful that I was finally making some progress toward ending this cycle of grief. Then – WHAM!! – an envelope from momster. Just seeing her handwriting on the card triggered me.

I called a friend and found out she was at my son’s school. (I was on my way to pick up my son from school when I checked the mail and saw the card.) I asked my friend if she would wait for me and open the card. I had told myself the last time I received mail from momster that I would no longer open anything from her, but in the moment, I simply froze. I was triggered and wanted to cry.

My friend opened the card and read it. It was actually very low key for momster (thank goodness). In fairness to momster, I did send her a Christmas card (I was torn on that decision), so she is probably just reciprocating. She wrote very little on the card and didn’t even write in my name on it. She also included a “hug coupon,” which made me think, “Yeah – Good luck with that!” My friend gave me a hug (but not for the coupon), and I asked her to throw the card away.

I didn’t stay triggered for long, which is HUGE for me! I decided that I wasn’t going to let momster have the power to ruin the evening I had planned with my son. We had a great time eating dinner out and then playing board games afterward. I am making progress!

Photo credit: Hekatekris

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