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Posts Tagged ‘karma after child abuse’

Cave (c) Lynda BernhardtIn my last post, Justice, Forgiveness, and Karma after Child Abuse, I shared that I have been able to forgive (which I define as to let go of the bitterness toward) my abusers because I believe that justice will occur after they die. While I have a Christian background, my view of “hell” is different from fire and brimstone. I believe that “hell” comes from having to face all of the damage you inflicted in your prior lifetime. Here is how I came to reach this conclusion:

A few years ago, I went to my first Reiki session. I knew nothing about Reiki other than that it was spiritual healing without physical contact. I told the Reiki lady (J) that I had been sexually abused and was very sensitive about being touched. With my permission, she touched my head and feet. Other than that, she kept her hands at least two feet above my body for most of the session.

My Christian background had me leery about Reiki, so I was a bit alarmed at my second session. About halfway through the second session, J stopped and said she needed to talk with me about something. During our first session, she “saw” an ugly beggar woman hovering nearby. She did not know what to think of this and tried to ignore it, but the “beggar woman” followed her home and pretty much would not leave her alone. J sent me Reiki from her home but did not know what to think of this.

At our second session, the beggar lady was back again, so J thought we should talk about this. I am surprised I did not just leave because, at that time in my life, I would have been concerned about the beggar lady being a demon or something. As J and I talked about this beggar lady, we came to realize that this was S, my most sadistic abuser, and she was begging me to forgive her for all she had done to me. I was not in a place that I was ready to say, “I forgive her,” but I was far enough along my healing journey to say, “I choose to stop putting energy into hating you.” J sensed S saying, “Thank you,” as I visualized releasing her into the heavens and out of my life.

I never quite knew what to make of this until reading the book Messages from the Masters: Tapping into the Power of Love by Brian Weiss. In that book, he explains his belief about what happens when we die. He believes that the spirit leaves the body and goes into a state of rest. After the spirit has rested, the spirit must face its prior life and experience feeling the way that it made others feel through its lifetime, both good and bad. The purpose of this exercise is to help the spirit learn life lessons and grow. The best way to understand the way you affect others, whether positively or negatively, is to “step into their shoes” and feel the way you made them feel.

This resonated so deeply with me and explained why S was lurking at my first couple of Reiki sessions. I really do believe that S passed away a while ago and that she was working through her own assessment of her past life. She was forced to feel all of the horrible things that I was forced to feel, knowing that she was the person who inflicted such deep pain. I cannot imagine better justice than that.

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How to Heal From Child Abuse Through Reiki

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Tree (c) Lynda BernhardtOn my post, Child Abuse: Severe Emotional Abuses I Suffered, a reader posted a question about whether my abusers are still “alive and well” but not incarcerated. As far as I know, none of them ever did any jail time for what they did to my sister and me. However, I have made peace with this, and I want to share how.

Those of you who were moved by my discussion of reincarnation will probably find this very useful. Those who think I am off my rocker for believing in reincarnation will likely find this post and my next one to be a little nutty.

A fundamental part of being a human being is needing justice. People who do good things are supposed to be rewarded, and those who do bad things are supposed to suffer. Unfortunately, the world is filled with examples of where this is not the case.

If I based my need for justice on this lifetime, then I would likely never move past my hatred toward my abusers. I define “forgiveness” as letting go of the bitterness. Without justice, I do not believe that I could accomplish this. However, my beliefs in karma and reincarnation have enabled me to accept that my abusers will pay for what they did to me, which has enabled me to let go of my bitterness.

I believe that, after we die, our spirits rest. Then, our spirits must experience how our actions in our last lifetime affected others. So, I believe that when each abuser dies, he will have to feel the same pain that I felt and know that he caused that pain. While in spiritual state, I believe that each abuser will feel an enormous amount of remorse for the pain he inflicted. In my next post, I will share how I came to this belief.

I do believe that there is karma in this life as well. My mother/abuser feels pain because I am no longer in her life other than sending the occasional letter. I have told her not to call or visit me. I do not do this to hurt her: I do it to protect myself. However, this choice has the effect of hurting her, and I believe this is part of her karma and learning her life lessons. You cannot treat another person any way you want and then expect to have that person continue to give you love and energy. My mother lost a lot when she lost me.

Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt

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