I recently applied for a new credit card. I also accessed my credit report online (which I highly recommend doing annually to protect yourself from identity theft). In both cases, to verify that I was who I said I was, I was asked to provide my mother’s maiden name.
For most people, providing your mother’s maiden name is not a big deal. However, for those of us who suffered from mother-daughter sexual abuse, the last person I want to be thinking about when I am applying for a credit card is my mother.
I get that this is a good security question. After all, I doubt that many people who know me could tell you my mother’s maiden name. Heck, I doubt I could tell you any of my friend’s mother’s maiden names. I doubt I could even name many of their maiden names if I met them after they were already married. So, I am not criticizing this security question as being a bad one.
It’s just that I don’t want to think about my mother. I have done the hard work of healing. I have dealt with the flashbacks and processed the negative emotions. Now, I just want to move on with my life, and that life does not involve my mother.
The question did not trigger me, thank goodness. It just annoyed me.
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Blooming Lotus 