December 31, 2010 by faithallen
Happy New Year!
I have been doing some blogging this week so I will be able to get back to publishing blog entries regularly each weekday. I hope that all of you have a wonderful weekend and that you, like me, are ready to start anew in 2011.
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
the onion peels
the tears spill
the pond fills
the lotus unfolds
~ by Reisha
Dissociative Identity Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
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Blooming Lotus 
dear faith,
seeing you lead a normal life gives me hope. currently going through therapy and learning to except and deal with memories and dissociation disorder. I honestly don’t know why they call it a disorder since it worked for so long. I am 40 now and last nov i had a major melt down and all that i portrayed for so long came cashing. I went into major depression and have not been the same. almost two months later, and alot of sessions and some meds. I sleep better and I don’t trigger as easily on certain things. My therapist uses emdr along with other things for the trauma.
Best wishes for you and yours in the new year!
Hi, Bebopie.
Thanks for the vote of confidence. I don’t feel like I am leading a normal life right now because I have been badly triggered for two weeks. However, the people in my life who know me best say I am doing amazingly well with only two weeks of triggers instead of three months like last year. I have to trust in their observations because I feel like I am losing my mind.
I saw “Black Swan” this week (which I will blog about on Monday), which was both helpful and harmful. It was harmful because it added to my triggers, but it was helpful to see how much more f@#$ed up I could be based on similar experiences.
I think they call it a “disorder” because it is disruptive to your daily life once you are safe. I call it a “gift” for anyone who is currently living in an abusive environment.
My initial “breakdown” was the same way. (I call it a “breakthrough crisis,” which is a term I got from one of the healing books I read.) I went six weeks not knowing if I even wanted to survive it. I then experienced a four-hour reprieve in which I felt more alive than I ever had. It was awful going back into the pain when the four hours ended, but then I had hope that another way of life was possible.
– Faith