In my blog entry yesterday, I talked about writing a mission statement for my life. This is something I have never considered doing before because I have spent my entire life adapting to my circumstances and using my intensity to break through barriers. On the rare occasions that someone asks me about my dreams, I say that I want to go to Hawaii (which I actually plan to do when my son leaves for his freshman year of college – that’s still a few years away, though). Beyond that, I have had no dreams.
I could not fall back to sleep after two hours of trying, so I starting thinking about what I want in my life. I could not answer the question. I can tell you many things that I do not want, but I draw a blank at dreaming about what I do want. Dreams are a foreign concept to me.
So, I came up with the following personal mission statement:
I want to produce something of value that is meaningful to and appreciated by others.
I came up with this at 4:00 a.m. after only four hours of sleep, so bear with me. LOL
I then asked myself if my life is currently leading me in this direction. The answer was a resounding NO. Perhaps that explains the level of unrest I have been experiencing for pretty much all of 2012.
Here was the hard part – What could I do differently that would meet this mission statement? I immediately went to the book that I want to write “someday” about healing from child abuse. My vision for this book is similar to the format of this blog – a book where people could look up applicable topics rather than have to read through the whole thing in narrative form. Just like with this blog, the book would include “taboo” topics that are not currently addressed in any healing books that I have found on the shelves.
Of course, my first reaction was that I don’t have time to write the book. I have been waiting for my life to have fewer responsibilities so I could focus on writing. I am now starting to think that I have this backward. If my personal mission is to produce something of value that is meaningful to and appreciated by others, then why am I not doing it?
Don’t get me wrong – this blog is also something of value I produce that meets my personal mission statement. However, this blog is also the first thing to get pushed aside when I am weighted down by responsibilities. I have a long list of responsibilities that come first, but my passion for the blog drives me to squeeze out 10 minutes here and there to write it.
Perhaps I have everything backward. Perhaps the part of my life that fulfills me needs to come first rather than last. I am not saying that I will just walk away from my job and family and go write, but perhaps there is a way for me to fulfill my own needs instead of always ignoring them to take care of everyone else.
Photo credit: Hekatekris
Blooming Lotus 
Can you do both at the same time? It seems to me the blog is also a key component for you to process as you continue to heal which will be a lifelong process… Can you use your blog entries to help you outline the layout of your written narrative? Maybe this project is a both/and?…..
Hi, aggiemonday.
I have considered this as well — compiling blog entries as the starting point. :0)
~ Faith
Hi Faith!
I think you’ve come a long way in healing once you are looking towards steering your life. Congratulations!
So, I find your mission statement very intriguing,
‘I want to produce something of value that is meaningful to and appreciated by others.’
And then at the end of this article you write:
‘ perhaps there is a way for me to fulfill my own needs instead of always ignoring them to take care of everyone else.’
It seems to me that your mission statement IS to take care of everyone else, only you want THEM to appreciate it as well, and it also seems to me that you are doing exactly that, creating meaning for other people. You can only be responsible for what you do, ‘creating meaning’, whether it is appreciated or not depends on others. The paradox is that if you do something meaningful for you, you can irradiate it to others who are receptive to it. However, it starts inside of you.
At the same time you are experiencing some conflict with that, as you feel that you are not fulfilling your own needs. So, I want to ask you something, what motivates you to create meaning for other people?
Lastly, I don’t think that it is about either ‘them’ or ‘you’, that you either focus on others and forget about yourself or that you are completely selfish. There’s always an in-between space where you reach balance. You can continue being your natural caring self, only extend that care to yourself as well, you already have it in you. In that way, it’s not selfish, but rather it is about giving yourself the chance to be on the receptive end of your own care,
“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”-The Buddha
Love,
Sol
P.S.:by the way, as a frequent reader, I really do appreciate your blog, it has helped me a lot, on a level you can’t even imagine, but that’s another topic.
Hi Faith Allen,
I think you are living out your mission statement with this blog. Great job, I know you are helping a lot of people.
I found your blog yesterday as I was trying to work through some of my own personal issues from my childhood. I read your full story. It was almost unbearable to read, so I can hardly believe that you lived through it. My question is, have you gone to the police? Have you done anything to stop these truly evil people from hurting other children? Also, what can I do, personally, to keep children safe from abuse?
Thanks,
Elizabeth
This is a big conundrum. Artists have struggled with it for years… Pour all your energy into the thing you love and the money will follow? Or, do you get other work which sucks your creativity dry in order to pay the bills and live… squeezing in the art as/when you can.
The good news is that you get to experiment! You can try new things and you have the perfect excuse/reason. Is there any way to carve out an hour or two for yourself when your son starts school?? Or maybe he is old enough that if you were to let him entertain himself for an hour or so if there is overlap in your time and when he gets home.
The summer is a hard time to pull stuff like this together because there is no school, but you sure can ponder it and bang out some ideas for when its time.
Good luck Faith! I really am pulling for you to write the book. 🙂
mia
Mia,
I started thinking of myself as an artist late in life. Looking back my natural way to to do things creativity and I always found a way to do something creative.
I so not make any income from my art. I have talked to may artists that do. Those that produce the art that I value do what they want and if someone else likes it that is a bonus.
I am asked to do commissions. I never ever will. I have yet to meet the artist that is happy when dong a commission. They fret and complain and are miserable.
One of the things I do is make marbles. I love showing them to people and many want to buy them. Thing is once I start selling them than it changes the dynamic of showing people. Sooner or later I will set a price and start selling them. It is hard as unless I get $100 a marble I am better off doing my consultant work. I do not want to deal with people who would spend $100 for a marble.
I’m pretty sure this is obvious and for whatever reason you’re not finding it adequate for what you intend your mission statement to mean, but … this blog is absolutely something of value that’s meaningful and important to others. The fact that it gets pushed aside sometimes in no way reduces the impact of the quality work you do when you’re here. I’ve gotten thanked by think-they-might-be-DID people that I’ve just SENT here, so I’m sure you’ve been thanked many times, but … thank you. This is a great piece of work you’ve created, and you make it better and better, every time you post. This is an awesome accomplishment. Keeping a blog is not easy. Keeping one that’s honest, insightful, balanced, informative, … meaningful, and important is A Very Rare Thing. There’s no reason not to do more, to write a book, but… don’t dismiss the great work you’ve done.
“If my personal mission is to produce something of value that is meaningful to and appreciated by others, then why am I not doing it?”
I find it helpful to check is it that I am afraid of failing or being a success or both. So are you afraid it will be appreciated or that it will not or both?
Reality is it could go either way. Most likely some of both. For me at this point in my life it has to be OK if it is either or I avoid it when I can. This is could sound limiting it is not as I am willing to take the risk of having things not go well but do not spend as much time doing things with little risk and little reward.
I am working on the putting myself first and it is crazy hard. I eliminated as much responsibility as I could from now until Sept including working for money. It has been a week now. I thought that I would get up and go for a swim in the lake and then decide what to do. I am finding it takes sometimes hours to get my head right to go for a swim.
For me putting myself first is to so something with out purpose. I do not swim to get in better shape, I do not swim so I am more productive. I do not swim to make the work of therapy easier. I do not swim to find my inner self. I do not swim to balance my brain. I do not swim to find inner peace. I just swim. It takes a while to quiet my brain so I am not swimming so ….
There is no start time nor length of time.
It is more than swimming in that there is a walk through the woods, I wade in the shore and look at what is going on there sometimes. I watch all the birds and fish. Sometimes I dig holes in the sand just because. I sometimes do Michaelaites (Thing Michael doing what his body tells him is right for now.)
Now it has all the effects listed above as long as I do not do it with purpose.
In the quiet spaces….when you quiet your chattering mind and connect with the field of all possibilities….you will find your answer. There is no outside time frame or outside demands….only your spirit showing you, guiding you, to your purpose and your growth in the time that is “right” for you. You have already started that journey and I am sure it will unfold, just the way it is supposed to for you. As a woman who has experienced many of the points in my journey that you have had in yours, I want you to know that YOU have produced something of value that I truly APPRECIATE…and I know there is more to come. You have given me the truly liberating feeling that I am not alone in my experiences and that I do have value…so THANK YOU!
Hey wellcallmecrazy or should I write crazy. Smile
I am not picking in you and allow that what you state as truth. It could be just me. I sometimes feel my guardian angel does not like me or as a twisted sense of humor perhaps it is the same with my spirit. . Smile
I am writing specifically about the following “In the quiet spaces….when you quiet your chattering mind and connect with the field of all possibilities….you will find your answer. There is no outside time frame or outside demands….only your spirit showing you, guiding you, to your purpose and your growth in the time that is “right” for you. You have already started that journey and I am sure it will unfold, just the way it is supposed to for you.”
I have heard this expressed many times and many different ways. It can find not reason to believe it to be true. I can happen and has happened to me often with a quiet and unquiet mind.
I feel and all of life has shown me that this concept is a delusion. Those that espouse it falling apart at the first sight of fate not being kind or more often speaking it and then being in turmoil at other times.
The only reason I write is in case someone reads what you wrote and does not understand why that is not true for them and I give the view it never is true for anyone over time. It is an experience and for me does not just come from being quite in fact will not come at all if that is all you do or that is the goal.
I have had this discussion often and no long do. Every time I have a discussion about this quiet your mind and it will come it ends with me saying. “If you are so at peace why are you yelling at me.
I believe I am a spiritual being having a human experience not a human who sometimes has spiritual experiences. I have no need to say that anyone else is.
I as best as I can let my spirit be by guide. It has never been easy nor do I expect it to be. Sometimes are easier than others.
Faith, I’d like to suggest that you’ve already written the book here, with the blog, and all the responses. Now you just need to pull it together, get requisite permissions for quotes, and turn a good editor loose on it so it.
[…] Using Your Personal Mission Statement to Change Course (faithallen.wordpress.com) […]