In my last couple of posts, Working Through Shame After Child Abuse and Recovering from Childhood Gang Rape, I have been discussing shame that arises out of experiencing particularly degrading forms of abuse. Perhaps one of the most degrading and shame-inducing forms of abuse is animal rape. Most people are too embarrassed to discuss this topic with another person, even with a trusted therapist or friend, because the level of shame and degradation is so great. Even people using anonymous messages boards for abuse survivors often hesitate to raise this topic. If you are a survivor of animal rape, you are not alone, and the shame that you are feeling is not yours to bear.
The wording of what you experienced is important. Some abuse survivors label the animal rape as “bestiality,” but bestiality implies consent. If you were a child whose abuser chose to orchestrate sexual contact between you and an animal, then what you experienced was not bestiality – it was animal rape. What the animal did to you was rape just as surely as if a man had done the same thing to you.
Some people who have suffered from animal rape fear that this is the abuse that is beyond healing. They fear that another person could never look them in the eye again if they knew about the abuse, and they feel as if the shame might swallow them up. Please hear this: Nothing that another person ever did to you – even raping you with an animal – can change the value of who you are. Yes, the animal rape was a huge load of manure dumped on the pile, but even a Mount Everest of manure piled upon a diamond cannot change the value of the diamond underneath. You are still precious and worthy of love. Being raped by an animal did not change this.
I know several people who experienced animal rape as part of their child abuse. These people have been able to talk about it and heal from it. You can, too. The shame is not yours to bear.
Related Topics:
- Animal Sexual Abuse Survivors Website
- How to Heal From Animal Rape
- The Shame of Animal Rape
- Aftereffects of Animal Rape
- Talking with Abused Adopted Child about Severe Abuse
- Trauma Tuesday: Believing Your Traumatized Adopted Child
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
[...] one that really surprises me is the term animal rape. That form of rape is one that most people do not talk about, even on very supportive message [...]
[...] Recovering from Childhood Animal Rape [...]
[...] from animal rape, raped by an animal, Shame The most popular article on my blog is one entitled Recovering from Childhood Animal Rape. That article has already had over 300 views. I am not telling you this to toot my own horn. (Most [...]
Hi there
I surfed into your site while doing some research for my final psych paper.
I read your blog & was a little surprised by the terminology used “Animal Rape”…my surprise is due to the fact that the word RAPE implies that this was a malicious act performed to gain dominace & control & perhaps sexual gratification, although not always.
I feel that the term used is slightly misleading & makes the animal into the abuser when in fact the abuser was human & the animal a co-victim with the child.
Lets not allow ANY of the blame for this terrible abuse be taken away from the real abuser (the adult human)…
Thanks for taking the time to read my response.
Warm regards
Skye.
Skye,
Thank you for your comment.
“the word RAPE implies that this was a malicious act performed to gain dominace & control & perhaps sexual gratification, although not always.”
This is exactly how my abusers felt and why they forced the contact.
I stand by the use of the word “rape” to describe what I experienced. No, I do not blame the dog because he was a victim, too. However, the sexual contact was not welcome or invited in any way on my end.
I am curious about what you would call this form of abuse. It is not bestiality because that is invited sexual contact for the human but rape of the animal.
There is precedent for using the term “rape” when the rapist had no sexual contact in the activity. There have been situations in which a rapist forced a male and female to have intercourse at gunpoint. That would be a rape, even though the male who did the penetrating did not want the contact, either. The rapist is the man holding the gun, not the one having the sexual contact.
There are also many abusers who force one child to perform sexual acts upon another child. That is rape as well, even though the rapist is not doing the touching.
To remove the word rape is to water down what happened. The word “molest” means “to bother,” and being penetrated by a dog is much more severe than being “bothered.”
Take care,
- Faith
Thank-you so much for posting on your blog. I can’t even begin to tell you how much it has helped reading about the animal abuse. You helped me put a name to what happened. I am going through the roughest time right now in my life. I am just reliving so much of this memory that I never knew existed until just recently. The body memories are horriable!!
Thanks again for opening up, you helped me more than you know.
Having a really hard time with this animal thing. I don’t know what kind of dog it was. I just know it was a big one. I can feel the fur. And the dog…. I wish I could say more. Thank you for sharing this. It is helpful to know that I am not alone.
Safe ((((( HUGS ))))) if okay.
I am so sorry that you know this pain, too.
When I first started having flashbacks about the dog rape, I could feel it happening over and over again. I wanted to rip part of my body off to make it stop. It was so hard.
Fortunately, by the time I recovered those memories, I had been healing for a long time and had many coping tools at my disposal. This was my “final exam” – I had to choose to believe that NOTHING that another person did to me could change my value. Once I pushed through the shame and loved myself, the memories lost their power, enabling me to talk about it like I have here.
Hang in there.
- Faith
Thank you for responding to my comment. I just need my flashbacks to stop at this point. I can’t really handle them very well at all. I am just having so many issues with all of these memories right now. I wish I could be as strong as you are in dealing with all of this.
What you see as strength, I saw as no other choice. Cracking up was not an option because I have a young child. So, I had to find my way through it.
Are you seeing a therapist? If not, I strongly suggest that you find a qualified one with experience in counseling people who have experienced severe abuse. It really helps to hear a professional tell you that you are NOT crazy.
Also, are you talking with anyone about your memories? That really helped me. I shared everything with my friends over at Isurvive: http://www.isurvive.org. It is a safe message board where you can choose an anonymous name and talk about what you are feeling. In fact, anon216 might even be available over there. :0) It helps to so much to talk with other people who have experienced similar abuse and learn that you are more “normal” than you realized.
Hang in there.
- Faith
I don’t really believe there are very many people who have experienced abuse that similar to mine. I don’t think people would believe me anyways. You don’t know how crazy it all sounds. Yours is the closest I’ve ever read, and I haven’t read all of it, just some of the animal and ritual stuff. I see my therapist tonight. She’d just think I’m crazy.
Hello,
Just a note to ask you if you could contact me at burt222@hotmail.com
Thanks
Need to try to put this here. I *rg*smed with the dog. That’s only the start of it.
I believe you. I had that happen with other forms of rape multiple times.
You are definitely NOT alone. To date, 563 people have read this one post about animal rape. That’s a LOT of people. 345 have found my site by searching for the term “animal rape” in a search engine. That does not include the 21 looking for “raped by an animal,” the 20 looking for “animals raping people,” or the 19 looking for “animal raping.” There are other variations of “animal rape” that people used to find my blog as well. You are NOT alone.
You would be surprised how many people have endured similar abuses. Over at isurvive, we have a forum specifically for ritualized abuse, which includes people with DID. (You did not say that you had DID, but I would not be surprised in light of the severity of your abuse.) In that forum, I have read all sorts of disturbing stories about various forms of ritual abuse. My story is definitely a severe one, but there are others who have stories that are just as bad.
I have shared everything on that site (www.isurvive.org) that I have shared here and much, much more. You can meet other people who get it.
You are NOT alone.
- Faith
BTW — My email address is in the “About Faith Allen” section if you would like to talk in private. Just open a free anonymous email account through Hotmail or Google and put in bogus information to protect your identity. I would post it my email address here, but I don’t want to be spammed to death by bots. :0)
Take care,
- Faith
What about not just dogs? What about smaller animals? Mice and snakes. Is that different? Is that possible? Am I just crazy? I am sorry to ask about this.
Yes, other types of animals can be used, especially snakes due to their shape. Mice are used, too. Animal rape is definitely not limited to dogs.
- Faith
Thank you so much for responding. I’ve just never heard of this before. Nobody has ever talked about it. It’s not just mice and snakes either.
Pretty much any animal can be used. I have even heard of ants being used as part of animal rape. It is hard to know what to call it. To me, it is animal rape because it is unwanted sexual contact involving an animal. The rapist is the abuser rather than the animal.
- Faith
I’ve never had ants used for that, but there were a lot of animals used. They used about anything from a farm and would go out and buy some animals as well. Sometimes they would go out and buy fish. Small rodents were very popular. Snakes just seemed to be the worse, especially when combined with mice.
I am so sorry they did that to you. Yes, I have heard of different farm animals being used for animal rape.
You are not alone. As of this morning, this one article has had 1,318 page views. While most people do not post a comment, they are reading this article because they also know the pain that you and I have endured.
Hang in there.
- Faith
Dear Faith,
This is the first time I heard of “animal rape”, and at first, I thought that you are preferring to the abusers, but then I went in total shock!
I’m sorry you had went through such torment…I hope you’re doing well, and god bless!
(I just stumble this post)!
The word rape implies an act by a rapist–which the dog was not. The dog was also a victim. In most states rape occurred whether or not the victim had penile penetration. It is still rape, if by an object. The human was the rapist, not the dog. I think it shifts responsibility. Not calling it “animal rape” is not diminishing your horrible experience, you were still raped. In a way the animal was also raped- forced sexual contact. While the term “animal rape” is alarmingly eye-catching, it is misleading– how are you distinguishing it from an human forcing themselves on an animal?
Bestiality implies that the human was a willing participant with an animal.
I think a different term would be clearer than animal rape & not misplace blame. If the word rape isn’t exact enough for you, I would suggest that you coin a word.
Irene,
What terminology would you suggest?
Bestiality involves consent, so that term is clearly wrong. I am not aware of another term for this form of abuse, which is how I came to call it “animal rape.” It is raping a child by using an animal. No, the animal is not responsible, but the child is still experiencing forced penetration or sexual contact, and an animal is being used to accomplish this. The term “animal rape” fits.
“While the term “animal rape” is alarmingly eye-catching, it is misleading– how are you distinguishing it from an human forcing themselves on an animal?”
I would call that bestiality. Bestiality is when a human forces sexual contact with an animal. An animal does not have the ability to consent to the sexual contact.
Thanks for your comment. I would sincerely welcome other suggestions for what to call this despicable form of child abuse.
- Faith
Srrt for my english. i remember well “now do the same to the dog”, i remember the taste which i”ll never forget but as always i obeyed all!!
it was better than tied up and beat with the belt or pinched. I was 11. since 9 i was put on my knees. i understood he liked it and he convinced that a girl had to do it but i did not understand why to the dog now? but i wouldnt dare to disobey and he was happy in the end when it was over.
it is clear why and thanks for talking about this, i never could possibly talk to someone about this.
Did he take pictures of you too while doing it? i never will know where are those pics now he would show them to me and said how i was good at that. i felt devastated then and now 100 times more. What if somebody saw them today?
Yes, my abusers took pictures of me. In my case, I believe it was a child pornography ring, so for all I know, those pictures are still circulating somewhere. I remind myself that only a picture of my body is in those pictures — they could not take my soul.
I am so sorry that you experienced this, too.
- Faith
you’re great for this site really, it is such a strong example. I found some of the comments also very useful this one says “he beat me, he asked how could he be sure i was going to be good so i i gave him oral sex it was *my decision*” now we understand it wasnt our decision at all!!!
can you believe a 10 yo deciding to do that to show she is a good girl??
but they made us feel like that and that tears us apart becouse yes we wanted to stop the pain so we did it as if we like it.
And on top of that, the dissociation of actually liking it some time (see your post on the shame of liking it). Maybe the key is a man who trouly understand but i am scared that if somebody understand these things too well i might simply fall again in the same situation.
Could you please contact me. I am writing a book on all aspects of abuse and I would like to get permission from you to reprint some of what you have wrote and refer people to your site.
Do you know of any other resources that I may include?
Anyhow, I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours truly
Sherry
Sherry,
I sent you an email.
- Faith
Hi Faith,
Thank you for getting back to me.
I am the mother of a sexually abused child as well as a survivor of childhood and martial abuse. My concern for others and my inability to access resources at the time of my daughters ordeal caused me much unnecessary stress. In fact it was what persuaded me to create my book. My heart tells me that my work will eliminate some of the hardships that I embraced for others in the future. I am trying to cover as many issues and effects connected to abuse and animal abuse is one of them. I do not have a personal connection to all aspects of abuse, and I do not have any answers to give people if they are looking for counselling, however I can direct people to resources where they may be able to get some information, support, and help.
I can adapt from what you have written or instead of doing this, maybe you may be interested in writing a little something? It does not need to be a huge article but, put what you would like others to know as well as contact details, etc… You are very courageous to be open to this and you, as I am, are paving the way for others to come forth with such a horrendous fact of life.
This is not an easy topic and I, like most who have contacted you, are thankful there is a place to go to on the net where they can release their pent up feelings and thoughts. Other than you I have not even found any other writings. Do you know of any books or other sites that deal with this issue that I can pass onto others?
Your article definitely proves there are many who have had to endure this and I too have experienced the perversion of animal abuse. It was not and at times is still not easy to comprehend or deal with. I still have my flashbacks and my days, but I am getting through it.
In closing, I would like to say thank you again for getting back to me. I look forward to hearing from you again.
Take care
As always,
Sherry Clyburn
Hi, Sherry. Did you get my email? I will email you back a more detailed response.
As for online resources for animal rape, the only place I know of is http://www.isurvive.org. While there is not a particular forum for it, we talk about in the Ritualized Abuse forum. Unfortunately, several members there experienced this extreme form of abuse. It is typically tied into ritual abuse.
Take care,
- Faith
Sherry,
I agree with your comment to Irene. However, please reiterate that althought the term “animal rape” is accurate, the animal is not truly the decision-making perpetrator; it is being (mis)used as if it were an object or tool: such as a bottle, gun, or whatever. The rapist is the responsible agent, who employs the animal like a tool in a hideously cruel manner. The shame belongs all and only to the abuser…
Gary
Gary,
You are correct. In fact, I would call the abuser a rapist of both the child and the animal because neither the child nor the animal is choosing the sexual contact.
- Faith
[...] shared before that the article I have written on this blog with the most page views is one entitled Recovering from Childhood Animal Rape. That one blog entry has had over 6,000 views. I also wrote an article for eHow.com entitled How to [...]
Grim. We humans have only begun to rise above being animals ourselves…
Hi, anon.
Yes, that is correct. The abuser is committing rape by using an animal to do it. The animal is as much of a victim as the child.
- Faith
I gotta agree with Faith on that one.
While ‘animal rape’ may seemingly imply the animal is the rapist, the actions prove the human in charge to be the actual rapist and the animal in ‘question’ is in fact a victim as well.
There is no other way to classify the action.
Animal Rape: What happens when a human chooses to rape another human with an animal instead of their own cowardice body.
~Rails~
My name is Sherry. I’m a survivor of child and domestic abuse and a parent of a sexually abused child, writing a book, looking for others to share their experience in support of other survivors and to spread awareness of a crime that has touched the lives of more then half of our worlds population.
Please visit my blog and my about me pages for more details. There you will find letters of support from various professional, details of a few of my past accomplishments, what I am looking for. A few pieces of my writing And my about me page will allow you to get to know. at http://www.myspace.com/sherry2468
Every voice will make a difference, which is why I am making a plea to others. I invite men and women, any age, any race, or any sexual orientation who has had any type of abuse inflicted upon them. Please, if you are a survivor, share your story about how you coped, etc… If you want to add something to my book, but are afraid to expose your identity, that’s fine; I assure confidentiality. If you are someone who loves an abuse survivor, share how you were affected. If you are an an advocate, share how you support survivors. If you are an organazation please forward some info about what you are all about. By sharing with me you will be making others aware through my book.
Spreading awareness can be successfully done alone, however with help from others of like mind, it will have a more effective presentation, so please pass this info onto others, it will help me greatly to attain my goal. I do not mean to rush, but this is my last call for submissions; my deadline Sept 25th.
Totally eliminating abuse will NEVER happen however we can cut down on the number of victims by using our best defense, which is for those living in the shadows of silence to break free from the silence. Blame for abuse belongs to only one person; the one who does the abusing.
Just trying to find a term…rather than “animal rape” which suggests someone has forced themselves on an animal, how about something along the lines of “Forced sexual relations whith an animal” yes, longer, but more precise, as it does not put blame on the animal
I have just come across this site whilst doing research about the shame associated with orgasm during rape – thankfully this is not something I have experienced myself, but I just wanted to say how much my heart goes out to you. Your self-respect is a lesson to us all, and I hope that your life is full of all the peace and love that you deserve. Waes Hal – may you be whole.