Are cults really just covers for kiddie porn and prostitution rings? That is the question that I have been pondering all week, ever since I read the article The Dirtiest Secret Behind Child Abuse. The author is a therapist, ritual abuse survivor, and has healed from dissociative identity disorder (DID). She has heard many ritual abuse stories as well as experienced her own, so she knows what she is talking about.
She talks about how “sophisticated” pedophiles will dress up like Santa and rape a child. That way, if the child ever tells or recovers memories in the future, nobody will believe her. I know several child abuse survivors who experienced this kind of abuse, being raped by someone dressed up as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or even Jesus.
Then, the author asks …
So why wouldn’t organized child porn groups dress up in robes and wear devil masks and provide other surrounding paraphernalia to share their love of child molestation?
That question hit me hard, and it caused me to think about my own memories and experiences. Could the black robes around the bonfire really have just been for my benefit? Could it all have been smoke and mirrors to mask a kiddie porn ring?
And then the pieces of the puzzle started rapidly falling into place. I have numerous memories of being photographed during the abuse. I find it triggering when lights flicker because it mimics a flashbulb, and the sound effects of a camera taking rapid pictures is very triggering to me.
I thought about the time that my sister and I showed up “early” and had to wait around in our nightgowns in a room filled with adults. It was some sort of log cabin or lodge. Everyone (mostly men) was drinking and laughing, fully clothed, while my sister and I wandered about confused with the men looking at us and laughing. That memory never made sense as a prelude to a cult ceremony, but it makes perfect sense if a price was being set.
I also wondered about why my sister was raped when I was not for the first several cult meetings. She had been raped previously by a babysitter, but I still had my hymen. If the goal was just to have some sort of bizarre ceremony, then why protect my hymen? I suspect the answer is that my hymen was very valuable and was auctioned off to some pervert who wanted to be my first rapist.
I ran this theory by my sister, and she agrees with it. In fact, it made a memory of hers fall into place. She remembers being blindfolded, raped, and then hearing, “Your debt has been paid,” said to one of the cult members. She knew that her body had paid off that debt.
I always assumed that all of robed people were cult members, but what if some of them were johns? What if it was never about “satanic worship” and all about kiddie porn and child prostitution?
Related Topic:
Trauma Tuesday: Raped by Santa Claus??
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
Although the cult that I was in was not satanic, they were some sort of distorted “Christian/psychic” thing. I believe it was just a cover up for them to act out their sadistic pedophile fantasies. They seemed very organized. I suddenly feel very sad…
“Could the black robes around the bonfire really have just been for my benefit?”
I’m not sure it was for your benefit, but for the benefit of your abusers. They weren’t concerned about making anything easy on you and they didn’t care how much they hurt you.
Hang in there, Faith. You are so strong!
Ive always described my experience as being in a child abuse porn ring. I think these people would of been so messed up on the outside that they would need some sort of cover for themselves, like religion or being in a job caring for people etc etc.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this issue, Faith. I’d like to emphasize that it wasn’t just the benefit of a “cover” for them. The fear of the environment and scary figures who were our abusers ensured our further dissociation.
Most survivors of RA recall having a job “in the cult”. That job was held by another dissociated self. Just as they were able to create a dissociated aspect of children for a job in the cult, they were able to create dissociated aspects to particiate in kiddie porn; be a courier of illegal items such as drugs, jewels; and, later in life, work in companies with sensitive information where a dissociated identity could copy files or relay information by phone or email.
This is not meant to be triggering. Just asking if anyone has that experience to please share here or on my blog Forbidden Topic or Believe the Children. Thank you!
I just read your comment grace, and it really hit home with myself. Sorry for making another comment i just felt like i had too!
Ive had memories back where ive been abroad carrying drugs etc, and even been put in a dark place on a plane on certain trips. Which is wierd ( or maybe very understandable) because before i brokdown i clamied id never flew before and never would.
I personally was defiantley used for criminal activitys – and maybe even for hurting over people – with knifes and guns. Ive told certain people this and im sure they dont believe me (although they might) . Maybe i just find it hard to believe myself.
Hi Simon, Sounds like you had a big eek moment. It is hard to believe for us; I imagine it sounds even more bizarre to the good guys. It just makes perfect sense. Whose gonna suspect a little kid, right? I’ve found that whenever I say “I can’t imagine ever doing that” to something I see or hear in the conscious world, I probably did it in my “past life”. I must have led a very exciting life…kinda like MacGuyver or something. ;-O
I never experienced ritual abuse, but I and my siblings were often brought to a house where many children were, watching tv, playing board games, and called in to a dark side of the house where we were raped while being photographed. The knowledge of this activity was buried as quickly as it happened. When your Dad lets people do that to you, who you going to tell? As luck would have it, many years later while in college I visited a house with a friend and the house was instantly familiar to me. I could tell them how the house had been remodeled, where the door to the stairway used to be, etc. It was shortly after that the memories came back. The kiddie porn, the threats, the smelly elderly woman who kept things organized with names on a clipboard, and whose turn was next. My father took us, my older sister, me and then my younger sister to that house often over several years. At one point my father had a dispute with the owner of the house and broke in and stole his camera. He and I then hung out in the parking lot of some bars while he tried to sell the camera. As an adult, having recalled enough of this to investigate the address for crime reports at the police department records office, the only one I came across is a report of a large format camera having been stolen from the home.- in the general time frame of the age of the activity. Can you believe the nerve of the kiddie porn makers – reporting to the police that their camera had been stolen? I wonder to this day if those photos are still being traded out there among the pervs.
MacGuyver – lol. I still feel like my childhood was a former life rather than part of my life.
deanandme – That doesnt suprise me unfortunatley. Sick *********
[…] faithallen @ 7:13 am Tags: child prostitution, cults, kiddie porn In my last blog entry, I asked Are Cults Really Covers for Kiddie Porn and Prostitution Rings? I believe that, in my situation, the answer is yes. This might not be true in all cult situations, […]
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