Survivors of child abuse often get “triggered” by things that remind them of the abuse. A trigger can be pretty much anything. For example, I get triggered if someone opens my bedroom door when I am trying to sleep. I was awakened too many times to be abused, and those episodes always began by somebody opening my bedroom door while I was sleeping. So, to this day, I equate hearing the bedroom door open to experiencing abuse.
When people are triggered, they get a rush of adrenaline. They feel panicky and react in different ways. I would dissociate, which means that I would feel “floaty” in my head. The world would seem like I was looking at it through the wrong end of a telescope. I would feel disconnected from what was going on around me. It was like I was “there” but “not there” at the same time.
I used to struggle to “stay present” during therapy sessions. I would hold onto my chair to help me stay present instead of distant in my head. I wanted to remember the therapy sessions afterward, and that was hard to do if I stayed triggered or dissociated the entire time. It took me a long time to learn how to stop dissociating. To this day, dissociation comes naturally, so I have to choose not to do it when something triggers me.
I used to be triggered by many things. Today, I am only triggered by a few things, thank goodness. When I am triggered (such as when I have to clean up dog poop), I get a really bad headache. I feel very angry, which is an improvement over feeling helpless. At least anger propels me forward instead of running away. Getting triggered sets off the “fight or flight” response. Now I feel the need to fight instead of flee, which I guess is progress.
I hope that I will reach a point in my life in which I no longer get triggered. That might be an unrealistic goal. However, as long as I am moving toward it, then I know I am making progress.
Related Topic:
- Trauma Tuesday: Can a Traumatized Adopted Child’s Triggers be Dismantled?
- Trauma Tuesday: Dismantling the Traumatized Adopted Child’s Triggers
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
is there a way to fight being triggered…. this happens to me alot, just like you said…. even today while volunteering at the church and then was so hard, and wanted to hurt me, even though i had done nothing. what can you do once you are triggered… today i just froze and got so upset.
I have a number of tools that I use. I just keep trying one after another until something works.
I say a mantra in my head: “I love you. You are safe. I’m sorry.” I will grab onto my chair and focus on how it feels. I have heard of people holding an ice cube and focusing on how that feels in their hands. I will breathe deeply in and out and focus on my breath. I will think about things that calm me, such as the beach. I will play the piano. Being triggered is about reacting to the past, so anything you can do to bring your focus back to the present is helpful. Yoga and meditation help, too.
– Faith
faith thanks for putting it so simply — reacting to the past…. i just thought man, i am messed up! i need to figure out how to stay present. so i wont stay in the past when this or something like this happens again.
thanks!
Glad that helped.
I got triggered pretty badly last night. When I am in the midst of it, it is hard for me to remember my tools. I do not always recognize that I am triggered. Instead, I just think that I am really stupid or something. Fortunately, I did yoga and meditation, which brought me back. Then, I wrote about it, which will post on Monday.
Take care,
– Faith
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